Southern life and death receive close inspection and a healthy dose of humor in Being Dead Is No Excuse; The Official Southern Ladies Guide To Hosting The Perfect Funeral.. Traditional Southern recipes for casseroles, relishes, and 'funeral and wake food' dish up a healthy (or unhealthy, at times) dose of authentic Southern cooking and observation mixed with a pinch of humor. Plenty of social and cultural insights throughout.

"Being Dead is No Excuse" by Gayden Metcalfe and Charlotte Hays is very funny, charming, and perhaps more accurate than some might like to admit.I admit it, I am a "Yankee," (Though to a true Northerner, a Yankee is from New England, and one who eats apple pie with sharp Cheddar cheese for breakfast!), but I am highly familiar with funerals and preparations for "a good send-off." Metcalfe and Hays have written a funny, touching book that has aspects (and aspics!) that are applicable anywhere in the United States.However, this otherwise excellent book has been marred by sloppy, sloppy editing, as is too common any more. One thing, the hymn is "Our God, Our Help in Ages Past," not "Oh God....." And some of the recipes, which are mostly Southern classics (and rightly so!) lack crucial information as to pan sizes, or yields. If you're not going to cook from this book, no problem, but many of the recipes are so appealing, that it is really unfortunate that they were not edited better.

My family has known Gayden Metcalfe's family all my life. I even went to school with Gayden's daughter. This wonderful book is pure Greenville, Mississippi. I think it would surprise many to know that most of the tongue in cheek stories and commentary are much more fact-based than anyone outside the Delta would guess. My favorite has got to be the difference between Episcopalians and Methodists. Having grown up on the Methodist side of the battle, I have to admit she's dead on in her description of our Campbell's mushroom soup-based funeral fare. I was so happy to see that Daddy had picked up a signed copy for me from McCormick's when I was home to visit last week. It's a wonderful triumph for Greenville, Gayden, and the Owen family salutes you. Cheers!!

Forget Scarlet, Zelda, and Tallulah, they pale beside the ladies of the Mississippi Delta who are dedicated, determined, and (pun intended) dead set on seeing the dearly departed off in style.

"Being Dead Is No Excuse" is laugh out loud funny, true, and chock full of recipes for must-be-served dishes at after funeral receptions. Tomato aspic with homemade mayonnaise tops the list that includes Aunt Hebe's Coconut Cake and Virginia's Butterbeans. Those who doubt the import of a table groaning under countless casseroles will learn that "Nobody eats better than the bereaved Southerner. We celebrate weddings, christenings, birthdays, and just about every milestone in life with food. But every southerner knows that death cooking is our very best."

Now, it's not only the food, but it's also the presentation. For Southern ladies, polishing silver is a form of grief therapy thus the serving pieces will be immaculate. In addition, linens are required. "We do not want Mildred to go under with paper napkins."

Metcalfe forthrightly addresses the vanity often ascribed to Southern women by describing an older lady who passed away and wanted to be "laid out" as she looked during the happiest days of her life - when she was a waitress. Thanks to the craftsmanship of the local undertaker she appeared in her coffin in waitress uniform with ruby red lips and the same color hair.

Then there is Lavinia, the former wife of a philanderer. Not wishing to be outdone at his services, she made a Botox appointment, bought designer duds, and hired a King Air private jet which she directed to buzz the church. There wasn't anyone with ears who didn't know "someone" had arrived. Then, Lavinia strode smartly down the aisle stage-whispering, "I don't want anybody to know I'm here.....I just came for the children."

Greenville, Mississippi native Metcalfe hasn't missed a beat in relating the rollicking rites and rituals necessary for the Southerner's final goodbye, including the frequency of their visits to the local cemetery. "We won't forget you just because you've up and died," she writes. "We may even like you better and visit you more often."

Few will forget "Being Dead Is No Excuse."

- Gail Cooke

Having just laid to rest my 96 year old Aunt Jewel the very day the review came out about "Being Dead is No Excuse," I knew things were really OK and she was sent off in good stead, not just with the Lord but in good ole Mississippi Delta style. The family having all gathered for visiting and telling funny stories about Aunt Jewel, along with friends for the after funeral socializing, prepared to feast. I should add that being Baptists, there was no official alcohol present...! However, there were cakes, fudge, brownies, chocolate pies, banana puddings, Coca Cola cake (my personal favorite), lemon icebox pies, then the casseroles, deviled eggs, fried chicken, potato salads, chicken salads, congealed salads,lasagne, iced teas (both sweet and unsweet)Cokes and diet Cokes, and other beverages. I was saddened, however that there were no pimento cheese finger sadwiches or even pimento chees sadwiches cut on a diagonal with the crust removed...so sad. As a matter of fact, there was no pimento cheese of any sort. I felt that we owed someone an apology for not having the PC sandwiches but didn't know who to apologize to, so I just let it go. The night before there wwere deviled eggs, potato salad along with the best darned bbq chopped Boston butt you could ever sink you teeth into.
I loved my Aunt dearly and am proud to say we sent her on her jouney in style.
We read the book review the afternoon of the funeral and laughed til we cried and wished Aunt Jewel could have been there to enjoy all that magnificent Southern cuisine and laugh with us. It acutally made things a little easier and a lot more enjoyable.
If you want to go in style but are of the Northern persuasion, feel free to come to the Mississippi Delta to die...we won't mind very much...it's a Southern thing you know. You really should get this book, it's a hoot and it's Southern...! AND, Being Dead is (Really) No Excuse.